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From: Muffy@arisia.berkeley.edu (Muffy Barkocy)
Newsgroups: soc.singles,soc.women
Subject: partners/cuts in pay/etc (was: Re: Yale-Harvard marriage study)
Message-ID: <1397@jade.BERKELEY.EDU>
Date: Thu, 9-Oct-86 02:16:52 EDT
Article-I.D.: jade.1397
Posted: Thu Oct  9 02:16:52 1986
Date-Received: Sat, 11-Oct-86 03:25:04 EDT
References: <1150@batcomputer.TN.CORNELL.EDU> <455@cci632.UUCP> <1169@batcomputer.TN.CORNELL.EDU>
Sender: usenet@jade.BERKELEY.EDU
Reply-To: Muffy@arisia.UUCP (Muffy Barkocy)
Organization: Symbolics Education Services, San Francisco
Lines: 59
Xref: watmath soc.singles:414 soc.women:286

In article <1169@batcomputer.TN.CORNELL.EDU> cheryl@batcomputer.UUCP (cheryl) writes:
>In article <455@cci632.UUCP> rb@ccird1.UUCP (Rex Ballard) writes:
>>Cruel?  Perhaps, but also realistic.  A promotion worth 10% to a partner
>>making $40,000 might cost the other partner making $10,000, 10%.  Net gain
>>for the parnership, $3,000.
>
>Net gain for the 10K half of the partnership:  $500.00.  
>
>Can you spell "Trickle Down?"
>
>The humiliation associated with making $10K is to be exacerbated
>by demanding that the person take a cut in pay to $9K.
>
>The recompense is that the person may get $1500 from the person
>he or she sleeps with, a net gain of $500.00 in a year for 
>sleeping with someone...pretty low wages for *that* profession!
>
>
>Cheryl

The (somewhat hypothetical) situation:  I'm living with my mother, who makes
$40K.  I'm doing filing, making $10K.  As long as I live with my mother, she
takes care of room and board, even though I could be supporting myself now.
However, we like each other's company, and she doesn't mind that she's paying
for most of the food, rent, etc.  She gets an offer of a job across the country
that pays 10% more, so she decides to move and says I can come along if I want
to.  I go with her, but I can only get a job paying 10% less.  Have I been
humiliated?

Exact same situation, but substitue "SO" for "mother".  What's the difference?
Well, first, my mother gave birth to me (responsible for my life).  Of course,
she's already supported me for my entire life, and at this point I could be
self-supporting, so she really has no more obligation to support me than an
SO.  Also, I'm not sleeping with my mother, so it's unlikely that anyone
could think she was "keeping" me (*grin*).  My mother is "family," unlike my
SO.  However, I feel a lot closer to my SO than my family, and I feel that I
can depend on him just as much as I can depend on them (and he can depend on
me as much as they can).

Certainly, I should be somewhat embarassed to be supported by anyone if I
really can support myself.  However, I am going to college so as to be able
to do the work I want to do and support myself better than I would otherwise.
I tried working 40hrs/week and going to school and was exhausted.  I much
prefer working 20hrs, going to school, and being (*smile*) kept (for the time
being).  When I graduate, I'll work full time and my SO might go to graduate
school.  Meanwhile, if he could get a job he preferred to his current one, I
would do my best to stay with him (although with one semester to graduation,
I might stick here for another 6 months and then move).  The point of going
with him would not be because of the money, though...it would be because he
is very important to me.


                       Muffy

Muffy@SCRC-STONY-BROOK.ARPA (really CERRIDWYN.SSF.SYMBOLICS.COM, but
                             this doesn't work right (yet? ever?))
muffy@arisia.berkeley.edu, muffy%arisia@Berkeley.EDU,
muffy%arisia@ucbjade.BITNET
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