Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!caip!rutgers!sri-spam!sri-unix!hplabs!tektronix!uw-beaver!ubc-vision!alberta!calgary!hermann
From: hermann@calgary.UUCP (Michael Hermann)
Newsgroups: net.jokes,talk.bizarre
Subject: newspeak, innovative use of a term long abused. - offensive to you? Maybe - it could be, it could not be. You pays your money and you takes your chances. (rot 13)
Message-ID: <425@vaxb.calgary.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 5-Oct-86 14:01:58 EDT
Article-I.D.: d you takes your chances. (rot 13)
Posted: Sun Oct  5 14:01:58 1986
Date-Received: Thu, 9-Oct-86 00:38:18 EDT
Distribution: net
Organization: U. of Calgary, Calgary, Ab.
Lines: 87
Keywords: newspeak, make like a bird and fl*ck off.
Xref: watmath net.jokes:4448 talk.bizarre:400


	V'ir bsgra gubhtug gung vg'f fgenatr ubj rkcerffvbaf hfrq va rirelqnl
ynathntr jrer bapr pbafvqrerq "va cbbe gnfgr"; V oryvrir vg vf gvzr gb oevat n
cnegvphyne grez gung unf ybat orra qbjapnfg naq orengrq (ol gur vzcrevnyvfg
qbtzn bs gur ratyvfu-grnpure ertvzr ;-) ), vagb gur yvtug bs qnl. Vg vf ybat
cnfg gur gvzr jura guvf jbeq fubhyq unir orra tvira gur shyy ceviryrtrf bs
orvat n erpbtavmrq zrzore bs gur ratyvfu ynathntr (gung'f gur fghss gung 
jnf qrirybcrq va Oevgnva, ohg arire cebcreyl vzcyrzragrq va gur Fgngrf ;-)).
Bs pbhefr, lbh nyy xabj gur jbeq V ersre gb; V unir unq guvf cvrpr bs yvgrengher
ylvat nebhaq sbe n juvyr, naq V gubhtug vg qrzbafgengrf gur pnfr nccebcevngryl
rabhtu (fbeel, nhgube haxabja):


Grkg ortvaf...
   	Creuncf bar bs gur zbfg vagrerfgvat naq pbybheshy jbeqf va gur
   ratyvfu ynathntr vf gur jbeq "shpx". Vg vf gur bar zntvpny jbeq juvpu ol
   whfg vgf fbhaq pna qrfpevor cnva, cyrnfher, ungr naq ybir.
   
   	"Shpx" snyyf vagb znal tenzzngvpny pngrtbevrf. Vg pna or hfrq nf n
   ireo obgu genafvgvir (Wbua shpxrq Znel) naq vagenafvgvir (Znel jnf shpxrq ol
   Wbua). Vg pna or na npgvir ireo (Wbua ernyyl tvirf n shpx), be n cnffvir
   ireo (Znel ernyyl qbrfa'g tvir n shpx), be n abha (Znel vf n svar shpx).
   Vg pna or hfrq nf na nqwrpgvir (Znel vf shpxvat ornhgvshy). Vg fubhyq or
   boivbhf abj gung gurer ner abg znal jbeqf nf irefngvyr nf "shpx".
   
   	Orfvqrf vgf frkhny pbaabgngvba, guvf ybiryl jbeq pna or hfrq gb
   qrfpevor znal fvghngvbaf:
   
   	Senhq:           V tbg shpxrq ol zl vafhenapr ntrag.
   	Qvfznl:          Bu, shpx vg!
   	Ceboyrz:         V thrff V'z shpxrq abj.
   	Ntterffvba:      Shpx lbh.
   	Cnffvir:         Shpx zr.
   	Pbashfvba:       Jung gur shpx?
   	Qvssvphygl:      V pna'g haqrefgnaq guvf shpxvat ohfvarff.
   	Qrfcnve:         Shpxrq ntnva.
   	Cuvybfbcuvpny:   Jub tvirf n shpx?
   	Eryvtvbhf:       Ubyl Shpx.
   	Vapbzcrgrapr:    Ur'f nyy shpxrq hc.
   	Ynmvarff:        Ur whfg shpxf nobhg.
   	Qvfcyrnfher:     Jung gur shpx vf tbvat ba?
   	Eroryyvba:       Shpx bss!
   	Fhecevfr:        Shpxvat Vaperqvoyr!
   
   Vg pna or hfrq va qrfpevcgvir nangbzl 
   		- Ur'f n shpxvat nffubyr.
   Vg pna or hfrq gb gryy gvzr 
   		- Vg'f svir shpxvat guvegl.
   Vg pna or hfrq va ohfvarff 
   		- Ubj qvq V trg guvf shpxvat wbo?
   Vg pna or n cerqvpgvba 
   		- Bu, jvyy V trg shpxrq.
   Vg pna unir zngreany pbaabgngvbaf 
   		- nf va "Zbgure Shpxre".
   Vg pna or anhgvpny 
   		- Shpx gur Nqzveny.
   Vg pna or cbyvgvpny 
   		- Shpx Erntna.
   Vg pna bcra gur qbbe gb jbaqreshy eryngvbafuvcf 
   		- "yrg'f shpx".
   Vg pna or hfrq gb raunapr gur zrnavat bs n jbeq
   		- nf va Ornhgvshpxvatshy, Greshpxvatvsvp be Nofbshpxvatyhgryl.
   
   	Gur zvaq vf snveyl obttyrq ng gur znal znal perngvir hfrf. Ubj pbhyq
   nalbar or bssraqrq jura lbh fnl "shpx"? Hfr vg va lbhe qnvyl fcrrpu! Vg nqqf
   gb lbhe cerfgvtr.
   
   	Gbqnl gryy fbzrbar "Shpx Lbh".
   
         
Raq bs Genafzvffvba.


							   2
						Zvxr Urezna

		..!vuac4!nyoregn!pnytnel!ureznaa

	Rinatryvfz (hasbeghangryl) Yvirf.


	C.F. V'ir urneq gung shpx unq vgf bevtvaf va na nooerivngvba
	     hfrq va gur byq Oevgvfu yrtny flfgrz. Vg fgbbq sbe
	     fbzrguvat yvxr "Sbeavpngvba H... P... X...". V'ir
	     abg ubjrire orra noyr gb svaq n ersrerapr gb guvf 
	     naljurer; vs fbzrbar xabjf bs fbzr qbphzragngvba ba
	     guvf, cyrnfr yrg zr va ba vg. Gunak.