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From: james@scirtp.UUCP (James Sutton)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,net.jokes
Subject: Re: Mouse Season: Your Assistance is Requested
Message-ID: <639@scirtp.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 14-Oct-86 14:35:13 EDT
Article-I.D.: scirtp.639
Posted: Tue Oct 14 14:35:13 1986
Date-Received: Thu, 16-Oct-86 19:07:30 EDT
References: <1839@bu-cs.bu-cs.BU.EDU>
Organization: SCI Systems, Research Triangle Park, NC
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Xref: linus talk.bizarre:192 net.jokes:19353

> Ok people, it's starting to get cold outside, and you know what *that* means:
> 
>       IT'S MOUSE SEASON!
> 
> No, I'm not fucking kidding (to coin a phrase). Field mice always start
> looking for warmer climes (houses) when the first frosts arrive.
> I was reading some short SF stories last night, and got to a passage at the
> end of a story that went (pretty much) like this:
> 
>   It crouched in the doorway, small and squat, with two living snakes for 
>   arms, and single large green eye.
>   "Well," it snarled, "Well!"
> 
> At that instant I glanced up at some motion, and, running along the wall
> I saw a small dark shape. I SCREAMED! ...and then felt like an idiot. There
> was a little brown mouse hiding behind the radiator. He hightailed it a few
> feet into my open closet. 
> 
> Fortunately, my wife was going on call today, so she was sleeping in her
> own room. I wondered for a few minutes if the landlady (who lives 
> downstairs) was going to call a SWAT team, to see what caused the scream,
> but apparently she was asleep.
> 
> I closed my closet door, to avoid being a mouse hors d'oeuvre during the
> night. Since I couldn't find any traps in the store near my apartment, I'll
> have to take some home tonight. I think I'll get the sticky kind.
> 
> Here's where you come in. I need some advice. When the mouse (mice) get(s)
> trapped, they usually live for a while. As I related in my previous
> Mouse Story, I drowned the suckers as soon as I found them (in beer, or
> water if I was out of beer :-) ). I'm thinking of using the mice I catch
> this time as novelty decorations, tacking the tray up on the wall. What I
> need to know is:
> 
> 1. Should I just drown them, because this is too sick, even for me?
> 
> 2. Is it okay to hang them in my apartment, or do you think my wife
>    would object?
> 
> 3. Would it hurt my reputation as the Albert Schweitzer of BU if I 
>    hang them in my office (tastefully, of course)?
> 
> 4. If I hang them, should I also put a cat in a (larger) trap on the
>    same wall, for balance?
> 
> 5. Should I collect them, and wait until I have enough to make a mouse
>    organ? "I shall endeavor, with the aid of mallets, to play
>    'The Bells of Saint Mary'".
> 
> Please pick one (or make up your own), and reply direct to me. I'll
> summarize, and announce the results, if there's enough interest.
> Remember, THIS IS FOR REAL. There's a mouse trapped in my closet who's
> waiting on tenterhooks (oops, sorry) for your replies.
> 
> Alex "The Exterminator" Cannon
> Boston University

I read an article in the local paper (Raleigh News and Observer) recently
that mentioned that the local museum of natural history was offering a
class in taxidermy that involved making mouse-skin-rugs.

				james sutton
				{decvax,akgua}!mcnc!rti-sel!scirtp!james