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From: denbeste@bbn.UUCP
Newsgroups: alt.flame
Subject: Damn Easterners!
Message-ID: <4151@cc5.bbn.COM>
Date: Tue, 27-Oct-87 09:26:24 EST
Article-I.D.: cc5.4151
Posted: Tue Oct 27 09:26:24 1987
Date-Received: Thu, 29-Oct-87 06:08:27 EST
Organization: Bolt Beranek and Newman, Inc., Cambridge, MA
Lines: 50

[Just for the people I've met since I've moved here from Oregon]

ARGH!

Oregon is NOT next to Indiana.

"Oregon" is pronounced so the last syllable rhymes with "fun", NOT NOT NOT with
"fawn"! [Read my lips: Orygun.]

"Trees" are 200 feet tall, and don't look like they've been bombed with
defoliant in January.

"Mountains" rise above timberline and have permanent snow.

There are so many hills the size of "Mount Washington" in the Cascades that
they don't bother naming them. "Mount Washington" is not a mountain. (Nor is
anything you can drive to the tippy-top of.)

"Big" means the size of Montana, not the size of New Hampshire.

"Far" means the distance from Seattle to San Francisco, not the distance from
Boston to New York City.

"Liberal" means "trying new ideas", not "throw money at every unfortunate you
see."

"Beautiful" means there isn't any litter.

"Friendly" means smiling and talking to strangers, especially on the bus when
there isn't anything better to do.

The only reason anyone in Oregon had heard of Dukakis until just recently was
because he used to be the moderator on "The Advocates". Massachusetts politics
is less than important to Oregon politics. The fact that Dukakis is governer
here will carry no weight in the Oregon primary.

"Honest" means there isn't any graft. [Believe it or not, it is possible to
have an "honest" government. Oregon has one.]

"Democracy" means there are both Republican and Democratic parties, of equal
strength. And after the election, they cooperate to the get the business of the
state government done.


[Thank you. I feel much better now.]
-- 
Steven C. Den Beste,   Bolt Beranek & Newman, Cambridge MA
denbeste@bbn.com  (ARPA or CSNET or UUCP)
harvard!bbn.com!denbeste (UUCP)
          I don't think BBN cares what I think about this stuff.