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Path: utzoo!mnetor!uunet!husc6!uwvax!umn-d-ub!umn-cs!ems!andrew
From: andrew@ems.Ems.MN.ORG (Andrew C. Esh)
Newsgroups: comp.sys.mac,comp.windows.misc
Subject: Re: 2 button mouse
Message-ID: <6137@ems.Ems.MN.ORG>
Date: 4 Apr 88 19:07:00 GMT
References: <4129@hoptoad.uucp> <283@rhesus.primate.wisc.edu> <1710@ssc-vax.UUCP> <17702@think.UUCP> <1758@ssc-vax.UUCP> <201@glenlivet.hci.hw.ac.uk>
Reply-To: andrew@ems.Ems.MN.ORG (Andrew C. Esh)
Organization: EMS/McGraw-Hill, Eden Pairie, MN
Lines: 47
Keywords: window human computer interface


	Seriously, we should think about putting this discussion to rest.
It is obvious we are debating a matter of opinion, and so there can be no
resolution except either shutting one side up, or a fight to the death
(which is a radical version of the first solution).  Since neither of these
are practical thru the net, we must allow each opinion to exist.
	Not so seriously, I have thought of a solution which would put an
end to the discussion by shutting a few people up, for a few minutes, at least.
I have discovered that it is much easier to use a one button mouse vs. a
two button mouse if you do not have the use of your hands or feet.  (I have
the use of hands and feet; I do not care to explain how I discovered the
following :-)

CAUTION: Do not attempt this while anyone is watching!

	1.  Put your lips on the top of the mouse.
	2.  Push the button with your nose.

	This method would cause brain damage if attempted with a two button
mouse, causing racial memory regression to the "chicken" stage, where the
afflicted person clucks and pecks at small objects.
	A messier method which has the added advantage of being able to view
the monitor while manuevering the mouse is:

	1.  Place your chin on top of the mouse.
	2.  Use your tongue to push the button.

	Attempting this with a two button mouse is not advised, unless you
wish to lose your ability to speak clearly.  ( the added dexterity could make
you more popular with members of the appropriate sex, though)

	Just thought I'd add my two cents.  Happy mousing!  (This message
was composed entirely without using my hands, or the keyboard.  Wow, do I
love this Mac user interface!)
					- Andrew

P.S. This is what happens when I roll head on the keyboard:

wsea./gfttrvdc5fdrttgovvbb jmm ,l,kmcdvrtgvc ldslo;

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
 "When all else fails, get wierd.  It will give you a mental break, and
 confuse the opposition" - somebody famouse

-- 
Andrew C. Esh        DOMAIN: andrew@ems.MN.ORG     APPLELINK: D0492
EMS/McGraw-Hill      UUCP: ihnp4!meccts!ems!andrew      AT&T: (612) 829-8200