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From: Ron.Rothenberg@f460.n101.z1.fidonet.org (Ron Rothenberg)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Lack Of Humor Is The Worst Disability
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Date: 12 Jan 90 02:17:35 GMT
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Index Number: 6197

from DEAR DIMWIT IN DALLAS from Accent on Living Magazine, Winter, 1989.
By John Braun

Dear Advice Lady:

There is this cute guy at work, and I think he is interested in me.
But last week he got drunk and stole $50.00 from my purse after he
knowcked me down with his car.  Do you think I should try to get him to
marry me? 

	Dimwit in Dallas

Dear Dimwit:

Yes, you should. Anyone who asks such a dumb question deserves what she gets.

This kind of letter and response has kept Ann Landers and others in
business for years.  And while such columns provide a real public
service for many readers, I have discovered that the subjects covered
are usually not relevant as they could be for People With Disabilities
(PWD pronounced "PWD")

The reason, perhaps is that PWSs don't write in with the kinds of
questions that are on their minds.  Assuming that to be true, let me
give some examples of the kinds of questions that could be submitted.
I'll throw in some possible answers as a bonus.

Dear John:
When I am out in public in my wheelchair, people sometimes stare at me
which makes me feel uncomfortable.  What should I do?
Stared at in Seattle

Dear Stared At:
You are being too sensitive.  People are simply peering at you intently
because disabled people are like penguins in that they all look alike.
Thus, people are trying to see if they know you, and then simply lose
track of time.  It is appropriate to remind them of the elpapsed time.
After a minute has passed, hold up one finger, preferably your longest
one, in case they are nearsighted. 

Dear John:
I have a disability, and when I am out with my able-bodied friend,
Thelma, people often don't talk to me directly, but ask her questions
about me when they should be talking to me instead, which makes me feel
like a nonperson, and there is nothing worse than being considered a
nonperson, don't you agree?
Ignored in Ignacio

Dear Thelma:
Please tell Ignored in Ignatio he, she or it shouldn't use such long
rambling sentences and then maybe someone will talk to him, her or it.

Dear John:
I am a Person with A Disability (PWAD, pronounced "PWAD") and when I go
to the beach with my girlfriend, 97 pound weaklings kick sand in my
face.  What should I do.
Gritty in Grambling

Dear Gritty:
You have two choices.  You can either buy my book "The Art of Using the
Crossbow" and follow its instructions, or if you are of a more passive
nature you should buy my book "How to Smile While Picking Sand Out of
your Teeth."

Dear John:
I am confused as to how I should have people refer to me.  Should I
insist on being called a disabled person, a handicapped person, or
phnysically impaired, or mobility impaired or a PWAD, or able-disabled
or handicapable or cripple, or gimp or what?
Confused in Centralia

Dear Confused:
None of the above.  Call yourself "an endangered species" and cash in
on the huge and growing environmental movement.  Using such a
self-designation has many advantages.  Just one example, Imagine the
news story: "The bank robbery was commited by an endangered species on
crutches. ;. ." I mean, even if you're caught, will you get sympathy or
what?

Dear John:
I am blind and when I went to a job interview my guide dog relieved
himself on the personnel officer's leg.  I didn't get the job.  Do I
have grounds for filing a job discrimination suit?
POed in Peoria

Dear POed:
No, you don't.  The only way you could sue is if you had relieved
yourself on the interviewer's leg and then didn't get the job.

Subscriptions to ACCENT ON LIVING are $8.00/yr, $12.00/2 years from Box
700. Bloomington, IL 61072

If you can't afford a subscription, write them a letter and they will
waive the subscription fee.

-rsr-

... There is no fate that can not be surmounted by scorn - A. Camus 

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