Path: utzoo!utgpu!jarvis.csri.toronto.edu!clyde.concordia.ca!uunet!cs.utexas.edu!ssbn!looking!watmath!maytag!watserv1!looking!funny-request
From: alexb@jolnet.orpk.il.us (Alex Bianchini)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: Cocknet Alphabet going around the net.
Keywords: smirk
Message-ID: <92756@looking.on.ca>
Date: 9 Feb 90 11:30:08 GMT
Sender: funnyr@looking.on.ca
Lines: 37
Approved: funny@looking.on.ca
Reply-Path: jolnet.orpk.il.us!alexb

This is what the Cockney alphabet looks like:
AlexB

A for 'Orses            ('ay for 'orses)
B for Mutton            (Beef or Mutton)
C for Miles             (see for miles)
D for Ential            (Differential)
E for Brick             ('Eave a Brick)
F for Vessence          (Effervescence)
G for Get It            (Gee, forget it!)
H for Bless You         (Aitsshfa! A sneeze)
I for The Engine        (Ivor the Engine)
J for Oranges           (Jaffa Oranges)
K for Restaurant        (Cafe or Restaurant)
L for Leather           ('Ell for Leather)
M for Sis               (Emphasis)
N for Lope              (Envelope)
O for The Garden Wall   (Over the Garden Wall)
P for Relief            (??)
Q for a Bus             (Queue for a Bus)
R for Mo                ('alf a Mo)
S for Rantzen           (Esther Rantzen)
T for Two               (Tea for Two)
U for Me                (You for Me)
V for La France         (Vive la France)
W for the Winnings      (Double you for the Winnings)
X for Breakfast         (Eggs for Breakfast)
Y for Husband           (Wife or Husband)
Z for Wind              (Zephyr Wind)

{ed There are various versions of some of these, check rec.humor for
them if you desire.}
--
Edited by Brad Templeton.  MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible.  I will reply, mailers willing.

Remember: PLEASE spell check and proofread your jokes.