Path: utzoo!utgpu!jarvis.csri.toronto.edu!helios.physics.utoronto.ca!ists!yunexus!haroldt From: haroldt@yunexus.yorku.ca (Harold Tomlinson) Newsgroups: ont.singles Subject: Re: finding girls/boys, women/men, whatever.. Message-ID: Date: 22 Feb 90 18:30:39 GMT References: <755@alias.UUCP> Sender: news@yunexus.UUCP Organization: York Computing Services Lines: 52 In-reply-to: rae%alias@csri.toronto.edu's message of 17 Feb 90 21:31:09 GMT A lot of very good comments have been made with regards to this topic and I must confess that (for probably the first time ever) I agree with more than 50% of what has been posted. Erwin made a good point in mentioning that it is self-confidence that adds to or subtracts from one's "attractive- ness". A friend of mine and I tried an experiment in this area year ago when we were in high-school. We are a lot alike in our likes, dislikes, physical size, etc. I wouldn't call either of us stunning (chuckle). Okay, so neither of us is even really good looking. But! We found, and consistantly so, that I could say things and get a laugh but he would get a slap. The reason, we concluded, was a matter of self confidence. I really didn't care what the young ladies thought of me while he was very concious of the same. I agree with the comment by that married person (sorry, I forgot your name) who said that there was a certain feeling of safety. Since people know when you are trying to impress them - and I think women are more sensitive to this - they get 'turned off' by the phoniness. There is comfort and safety with someone who isn't trying to be something to impress you. My theory? If I have to be something I'm not to win your approval, or if I have to impress you, I can't be bothered. If you accept me the way I am, I'll accept you the way you are. No fancy packaging, no sales gimmiks, just the real you and the real me, really. (No, that's not an invite, that's just my theory.) Number of date I get? Plenty. Some with married women, some with my friends girlfriends, some with my girlfriend, but all with just friends. harold.t.t -- ========================================================================== Disclaimer: What you think my opinion is may not even be my opinion. It is in fact only what my opinion is in your opinion. ========================================================================== |\/~\/~\/| Harold Tomlinson | | Computing Advisor | | Academic Computing Services | | York University \__ __/ 4700 Keele St., North York (Toronto) '||` Ontario, Canada. M3J 1P3 || ========================================================================== He who doesn't know and doesn't know that he doesn't know is a fool. ==========================================================================