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From: coleman@twinsun.com (Mike Coleman)
Newsgroups: comp.dcom.telecom
Subject: Proposal: An Answering Machine I'd Love to Have
Message-ID: <4689@accuvax.nwu.edu>
Date: 3 Mar 90 06:05:03 GMT
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X-Telecom-Digest: Volume 10, Issue 141, Message 1 of 7

Here is a proposal for the "Answering Machine I'd Love to Have":

Motivation

Over half the phone calls I get are "junk".  They're from people I
don't want to talk to: sales droids, wrong numbers, "you've just
won...", etc.  Unfortunately, in our modern world, a phone is a
necessity, so I can't just have mine disconnected.  Like many other
people, I sometimes "rudely" use my answering machine to screen my
calls, but I feel that this is an annoyance put upon me and People I
Wish To Talk To by People I Don't Wish To Talk To.

Solution

My proposed answering machine would work like this: 

1)  Caller rings.

2)  Answering machine picks up.  Plays user message: "You have the
Froboz household.  Please enter your password now.  If you don't have
one and you really need to talk to us, you may stay on the line for 90
seconds, after which you may leave a message with your number and we
will call back as soon as possible."

3)  If caller enters a password (i.e., a touch-tone string), answering
machine takes a user-specified action dependent on the password:

	a) For good password, goto 5 or 6.
	b) For bad password, goto 4, 6, or 7.

4)  If caller doesn't enter a password, play elevator music (or
whatever) for 90 seconds (or some user-specified interval).  Then,
goto step 6.

5)  Ring the users phone in some manner.  This might just be the normal
bell, or it might include a preprogrammed announcement corresponding
to the password (e.g., "It's your Mother.").  Delay 5 (or some
user-specified interval) seconds here.

6)  Take a message.  Depending upon the password entered (or not
entered) the message may be "screened" (i.e., played through a
speaker) allowing user to pick up.  Hang up when done.

7)  Possibly play another message ("Let me tell you how I feel about
obscene callers/telemarketers/child molesters/etc....").  Then hang
up.

This allows people I give passwords to to reach me quickly, and I know
who they are when they call.  Recognition is based on who they are (or
at least, what they know) rather than the specific phone number they
are calling from (if your wife is calling from the airport, for
instance).

People who(m) I may want to talk to, but who don't have passwords,
such as the police, or my bank, may get through to me if they really
have the need (or at least if they are willing to wait 90 seconds to
leave a message).

Obscene callers will probably not wait 90 seconds, and if they do
habitually, this gives me a good head start on a trace.

Sales droids are quite unlikely to wait, and I'm willing to put up
with an occasional message skip on playback.  I can give out my phone
number to banks, etc., without worrying what torrent of sales calls
that might unleash.

Those F!@#$ing autodialers are completely defeated, I think.  Perhaps
I should require the caller to dial 1 at the beginning to indicate
that they are a real person?  (Sound familiar?)

As long as the system has reasonably long passwords and doesn't allow
remote playback or programming, it's pretty secure.

The machine belongs to and is operated by me, rather than the phone
company.  We all know that centralized authority is the root of all
evil.  :-)

I suppose this device would be about as complicated and expensive to
build (and about as easy to use :-( ) as a typical (programmable) VCR.
Still, I'd buy one in a minute.

Any comments?  Does something like this already exist?  Could I
home-brew one with a PC and some magic card?  Is there anything
illegal about this?

[Sidebar: In one of Heinlein's novels, there is a character with a
very interesting "doorbell".  Essentially, it's something like "Insert
$20 into the bill changer to talk to me.  If I decide your visit is
worthwhile, I'll return your money."  In this spirit, would it be
possible (or reasonable) to get a 976 number as a home phone number?
:-) ]


Mike

"The opinions above are strictly my own."
coleman@cs.ucla.edu