Path: utzoo!utgpu!jarvis.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!yale!bunker!hcap!hnews!114!15!Barbara.Akin
From: Barbara.Akin@f15.n114.z1.fidonet.org (Barbara Akin)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Re: Person or Disability first ?
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Date: 3 Mar 90 05:04:39 GMT
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Greg, while I agree with you that just because things are the way they 
are, I could be considered "socially handicaped" the problem lies with 
those people who cannot see beond a disability to the person! 
The refreshing thing in my life is that when people talk to me, and get 
to know me, they Do forget about the blindness, and I have infact, even 
had a friend ask me "Barb, where did you park your car" as we were 
walking out of a meeting!
That, is the greatest compliment I could ever recieve--that the blindness 
becomes so insignifigant, that it is altogether forgotten.
Now, I realize that this kind of thing takes time, and that Most people 
when we meet for the first time Are thinking about the blindness, and are 
posibly uncomfortable.
The way I choose to deal with this however, is to focus on other things 
about myself, like the fact that I am a mother, I have two girls, I like 
such and such sports, hobbies, where I work, etc.
And a B ig point here is that I focus in on the other person I am talking 
to. I have been just blunt enough to come right out and say something 
like "look I don't want to stand here and talk about blindness----its 
boring to me, besides, its Not the main issue in my life." That kind of 
thing Usually gets the message across!
Ofcourse, I am Not saying here that I avoid Ever talking about my 
disability. I do Many public educationtalks for schools, civic groups, 
etc. Its just that I want to have in my personal relationships, Real 
relationships, based on who we are as persons.
As it works out, this has happened for me, and although it Does take 
time, and doesn't happen over night, it is still posible.
Well, that's about it for now, thanks for sharing your thoughts with me.

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